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Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 01 Feb 2005, 16:02 by Annabel, Peralogue

OK - I'll start. Hope I don't offend. 1. You believe that when noone's looking, the faces of George Bush and Dick Cheney unfold like weird, fleshy spiders and scurry to hide under the White House bushes. view post

posted 03 Feb 2005, 22:02 by Faelcind Il Danach, Peralogue

Thats really funny. I guess I must be star war fan because I allways see Cheney as emperor Palpatine in fat suit. view post

2. posted 09 Feb 2005, 03:02 by Anonymous, Subdidact

2. You start analyzing your co workers and/or family, "Ah, Bob in Resources has been hiding from himself in a life of self loathing since Betty in Data Storage dumped him. All I have to do is pretend to be his father and he'll be fetching me cofee for a month!" view post

posted 09 Feb 2005, 16:02 by Annabel, Peralogue

Funny! Here's 3 and 4. 3. You start "marking" your arms every time you beat your friends at Scrabble. view post

posted 16 Feb 2005, 00:02 by snake0024, Commoner

*unleashes several of his pet Bush and Cheney spiders to assasinate Annabel* ;) view post

posted 23 Feb 2005, 23:02 by Annabel, Peralogue

Which I shall easily defeat using my superior Dunyain fighting skills! view post

posted 16 May 2005, 02:05 by Sovin Nai, Site Administrator

I know people who mark off shots on their arms as they drink. Though they have not read the series... view post

posted 24 May 2005, 22:05 by diarmuid, Peralogue

the calm cool of a serene september evening... you walk into the local golden arches.... the man in front of you orders the big mac combo for 3.29... you butt in front of him and take his order away and as he stops you with is cheeks flushed in ire you say.... "pardon me sirrah...but I am of the Logos....the McDeal that comes before" pressing 3.29 into his palm you exit the building with a grace that Surwe can only dream of... perhaps a saucy ass-wiggle on your way out the door.... view post

posted 06 Jun 2005, 13:06 by Ashmael, Candidate

you encounter a non-man with your face, and it says "Papaltine has ordered all schools to be slain"! And you say, you're in the wrong saga, here the dark comes before you view post

posted 06 Jun 2005, 13:06 by SymeonHaecceity, Peralogue

You brag about your kickass benjuka skills and when you play with your friends you keep changing the rules in a Calvinball-like manner. view post

posted 14 Jun 2005, 11:06 by Echoex, Auditor

- You replace your sister's barbie doll arms with kitchen knives and then spend most of the morning rhyming off names with the hopes that one will animate her...(your office barbeque is coming soon and you need a date). "Julie...Lurleen...Qwaneesha..." - Your wife has -- at some point -- uttered the words "well, you can call me Esmenet if that's what does it for you..." - When you see a guy wearing a chain with a gold steer's horn pendant, you wink at him knowingly and whisper "ahh...a Man of the Tusk". - You've named your 1987 Ford Tempo "Daybreak". - You've used the word 'heathen' more than 5 times in one of your employee's performance reviews. - You've used the word 'anathema' to describe a hang-over. I'm tapped... view post

Dupee dupe posted 14 Jun 2005, 15:06 by Kidruhil Lancer, Auditor

That's too funny... Okay, how about this? You started throwing rocks at a girl because she had a tattoo on her hand.. You wonder if being an evil face spy would be an even trade-off for unbelievable abilities with women.. view post

posted 08 Mar 2006, 01:03 by Warrior-Poet, Moderator

You blind yourself and attempt to use asps to see. view post

posted 09 Mar 2006, 03:03 by Nuuance E'vaance, Commoner

You used "spilled his black seed" as a metaphor at work and were escorted from the building. view post

posted 14 Mar 2006, 14:03 by gierra, Sorcerer-of-Rank

:lol: some really good ones! i'll have to think on this a bit... view post

posted 14 Mar 2006, 16:03 by Edge of Certainty, Subdidact

sadly enough, these aren't witty jokes: You start trying to think and say two different things at the same time. You get caught staring at someone whilst you try to "read" their face. You begin to call your bathroom and/or bedroom Sumna, and yourself the Holy Shriah. You repeatedly use the following phrases and metaphores: sweet Sejenus, death came swirling down, "peaches," "thumbs," and "apples." You prick your wife in the face with a needle while she sleeps, just in case. The highlight of your day would be daydreaming about being bound to the nude corpse of Serwe on a ring hanging from a tree ...ok, that last one is more of a sign that you're either morbidly depressed or just plain morbid, but it's the reference that counts. Just a warning: If we're not careful, these could easily become Jeff Foxworthy jokes....I'm just saying, let's not stoop so low. view post

posted 14 Mar 2006, 23:03 by Zarathinius, Auditor

You find yourself spending a lot of time analyzing what people say and recognizing patterns of real-world jnan, which is such a total fan-only type of realization that you can't talk to anybody about it without getting funny looks. view post

Hmm.. posted 15 Mar 2006, 08:03 by Kidruhil Lancer, Auditor

- You tried to comprehend the Thousand-fold thought, and they had you commited. - You were going to give yourself a swazond, but chickened out at the last minute. ( or alternately, you actually went through with it and now you have to meet with a therapist.) - You purchased "Whelming For Dummies" and ended up with 3rd degree burns. --- Heh. That's it for my creativity. Maybe I'll think of more later. view post

posted 15 Mar 2006, 11:03 by Zarathinius, Auditor

Okay how about this: - Secretly, you believe you [b:2cixcwp6]have[/b:2cixcwp6] comprehended the Thousandfold Thought. view post

... posted 16 Mar 2006, 08:03 by Kidruhil Lancer, Auditor

- You bought a scottish kilt and started sewing fake shrunken heads onto the bottom of it. ( If you have REAL shrunken heads, then you've got problems. ) view post

posted 16 Mar 2006, 19:03 by Edge of Certainty, Subdidact

while you bake a batch of kellhus cookies, you try to educe ypurself into a probability trance, end up falling asleep, and waking to the fire alarm in your half-burnt kitchen. :( where did my life go wrong? view post

posted 17 Mar 2006, 02:03 by Zarathinius, Auditor

How about this: You try to seduce that hot, airheaded blonde you know by attempting to hold her abusive boyfriend by the throat over a ledge. This results in getting the snot beat out of you by the said boyfriend and his gang. view post

posted 17 Mar 2006, 09:03 by zarathustra, Peralogue

You decide to war for space on the London Underground. view post

posted 17 Mar 2006, 21:03 by Warrior-Poet, Moderator

You start preaching Inrithism and start a new world religion. Like Scientology. :lol: view post

Foolish Error posted 24 Mar 2006, 22:03 by Mahajanga Mordecai, Auditor

While in a religion debate, you quote Prothathis: "All heaven can't shine through one crack." And then have to remember to say that it's a quote from one of your favorite authors and not an ancient philosopher... like I almost did. :oops: view post

Re: Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 17 Aug 2008, 16:08 by Cnaiür, Peralogue

I've almost completed reading The Darkness That Comes Before and, so far, these are what I came up with: - You're become a "pompous ass" and sign your name with an "R." in front of it: R. John Smith, R. Jane Baker - You name your daughter 'Esmenet' - You experience the Mandate dream - You pray your pregnant wife doesn't give birth to a blue baby - You now look at crows more intently to find the one with the small head and blue eyes - You render the hidden movers and shakers of Earth as 'The Consult' - You attempt to live and be a Dûnyain monk; you surrender to the Logos, seeking absolute awareness, living the Shortest Way, committed to mission, reading thoughts and faces to dominate souls and circumstance. You become what comes before. Well, at least, you try. - Despite your Christian faith you say "Sweet Sejenus" - You look upon all non-Christians as heathen - You refer to the Pope as Maithenet, and the Jesuit Supreme General as Sarcellus - You're convinced all priests who molest little boys were raised in the House Gaunum, and Michael Jackson is the Patridomos himself - You now call the North Star the "Nail of Heaven" - You mark swazonds on your cock for every woman you lay - Every time you're horny you look at your wife/gf as Esmenet, and mumble, "Come to me my Esmi". After a long sweaty session of vibrant sex your wife/gf stuns you by saying, "Ah, Callustrus, you're dreadfully gifted... what would I do without that thick cock of yours, hmmmm. Of all the morsels I get, you truly are the banquet." - You look upon trouble-making terrorizing toddlers and pre-teens as Sranc, and give them grubs and insects on Halloween - "Pardon my Sheyic, but, f--- off!" - You point to your asshole friend and say, "Coony, coony. That's Gilcûnya for 'you're a dirty, mold-infested douchbag'". - You're convinced Scott's flushed cheeks are due to his wife's male Scylvendi complex. - A beggar once asked you for money and you responded, "I only have 3 copper talents, just enough for a couple pints of ale and a 1/2 pound of Sranc jerky. You should try your luck in Momemn. I've heard many from all across the Three Seas have gathered there in masses, something about an Inrithi calling. And you know those Inrithi, they're very kind and giving." - In fear of not making next month's mortgage payments and insurance payments and bill payments, you begin to entertain the idea of selling one of your daughters off. Especially, now that they are of age. And you look upon little Caroline as your retirement deposit. - You now refer to chess as Benjuka. If your opponent asks, or appears perplexed by that name, you reply, "Oh, its the Aujic name for it, dating back over 5000 years. I've studied its masters and permutations since those historical times to the present". Without making your first move, you now have the upper hand. - You quote Ajencis every chance you get. "Faith is the truth of passion" - You etch PoN runes into a marble-sized ball-bearing and clutch it tightly every time your mother-in-law is present. - You look upon all lonely grieving drunk men as Leweths - You name your cock "The Heron Spear" :mrgreen: view post


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