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Sleep Wide Awake posted 05 June 2005 in Member Written WorksSleep Wide Awake by Johnny Slipknot, Commoner

Sleep Wide Awake


The Death of Kyan Markinson—Clueless Prophet and Catechist for the Church of Backwards-Compatible Misogyny.


By
J. Q. Sawyer




"'The vulgar think of God by analogy to man and so worship Him in the form of God. The learned think of God by analogy to principles and so worship Him in the form of Love or Truth. But the wise think of God not at all. They know that thought, which is finite, can only do violence to God, which is infinite.

It is enough, they say, that God thinks of them."--the Catechisms of R. Scott Bakker


"The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others.".--Friedrich Nietzsche.



"Fear only two: God and the man who has no fear of God."--The Koran


"So it goes."--Kurt Vonnegut




Prologue
------

My name is Charley and this is the story of the death of Kyan Markinson, my best and closest friend.
A paragraph or two from now you'll see something that says Act I. This was originally the start of the book (after the title and famous quotes part) but earlier today I caught the last half of "Fight Club" on FX right about the time Edward Norton figures out he's really Brad Pitt. Or vice versa, I guess. Anyway it's cool as shit and it blew my ass away when I first saw the flick.
Chuck Palahnuik wrote "Fight Club" and the fucker can fuckin' write. I'm no where near as good as him so I know you'll figure out way before the reveal (movie term) that me and Kyan are the same person. I just don't have the skill to keep that kinda thing under wraps for nearly a whole book. Even Kyan would've had a hard time with that.
So I decided to come back to the beginning and let you guys know up front.

Kyan and I are the same person. No mystery, no reveal, no cat, no bag.

There's a third guy who's also the same person as we are. He doesn't have a name that we know of. Kyan always called him the Avatar. I call him Bullshit Jones. Anyway, he's never spoken to either of us so who cares? We'll get to him later.

Back to Palahnuik for just a sec. He really is fucking amazing. Kyan was a big fan too. He read all his other books plus "Fight Club". I read it after I saw the movie. The last two books Kyan read before he died were by Kurt Vonnegut. He loved that guys stuff and re-read some of them over and over again. I never asked him which one he liked better, Palahnuik or Vonnegut. I never read any Vonnegut but I knew some of the limericks he used. Every time Kyan re-read the Slaughterhouse book, he'd spend the next three weeks or so saying "So it goes" when he watched the news or was talking to people. I asked him once what that meant and he said, "Read the book and find out for yourself."
"I'll wait till David Fincher does it as a movie." I said, being a wise-ass.
Kyan smiled and said, "So it goes."

I told you that Kyan was my closest friend. That's true but we were more like brothers. Really.

God, I miss him.

Kyan was a better writer than me but, because he carried the Disease, he could never have written this story. Since I carry the Gift, I can. Because I loved my brother and miss him terribly, I will. Mediocre though I may be at story-telling, I'm telling it. Palahnuik (talented motherfucker.) can fuck off.
So here we (it) goes…



Act I
---------



Kyan was older but I was here first.

Bullshit Jones has been here at least as long as I have if not longer, but because he never said anything or (back then) do anything I didn't really notice him. I thought he was like an extra or stand in. Professional wallflower maybe. When I finally did take note of him what registered with me was how amazingly observant he seemed. He studied everything. Everything that was going on. Everybody that walked by or stopped to talk. Any television show, movie, talk show, news report….forget it. He was glued. He watched everybody no matter how boring, trivial or annoying they were.
Eventually it hit me that the only person that he ignored, that he didn't even glance at or acknowledge…was me.
Kyan said this is why I hated the guy for so long and he's right. Back then I was used to being looked at. Being the noticed was par for the course for me. Even before I knew it was called vanity. It was the norm for me even when the term vanity got shortened to Vain. Even as---

Whoa! What the Fuck?! A flippin paper clip just appeared on the bottom right hand corner of the screen! It's got some problem with what I'm writing, or wants to help. "Suggested Usa--"

Sorry. Kyan held sway for so long that the last time I had the wheel note pads and ballpoints where still the tools for the job.

Let me figure out what the fuck this thing wants.

Be back. view post


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