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Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 01 February 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Annabel, Peralogue

OK - I'll start. Hope I don't offend.

1. You believe that when noone's looking, the faces of George Bush and Dick Cheney unfold like weird, fleshy spiders and scurry to hide under the White House bushes. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 03 February 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Faelcind Il Danach, Peralogue

Thats really funny. I guess I must be star war fan because I allways see Cheney as emperor Palpatine in fat suit. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 09 February 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Anonymous, Subdidact

2. You start analyzing your co workers and/or family, "Ah, Bob in Resources has been hiding from himself in a life of self loathing since Betty in Data Storage dumped him. All I have to do is pretend to be his father and he'll be fetching me cofee for a month!" view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 09 February 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Annabel, Peralogue

Funny! Here's 3 and 4.

3. You start "marking" your arms every time you beat your friends at Scrabble. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 16 February 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by snake0024, Commoner

*unleashes several of his pet Bush and Cheney spiders to assasinate Annabel* <!-- s;) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s;) --> view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 23 February 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Annabel, Peralogue

Which I shall easily defeat using my superior Dunyain fighting skills! view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 16 May 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Sovin Nai, Site Administrator

I know people who mark off shots on their arms as they drink. Though they have not read the series... view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 24 May 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by diarmuid, Peralogue

the calm cool of a serene september evening...

you walk into the local golden arches....

the man in front of you orders the big mac combo for 3.29...

you butt in front of him and take his order away and as he stops you with is cheeks flushed in ire you say....

"pardon me sirrah...but I am of the Logos....the McDeal that comes before"

pressing 3.29 into his palm you exit the building with a grace that Surwe can only dream of...

perhaps a saucy ass-wiggle on your way out the door.... view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 06 June 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Ashmael, Candidate

you encounter a non-man with your face, and it says

"Papaltine has ordered all schools to be slain"!

And you say, you're in the wrong saga, here the dark comes before you view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 06 June 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by SymeonHaecceity, Peralogue

You brag about your kickass benjuka skills and when you play with your friends you keep changing the rules in a Calvinball-like manner. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 14 June 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Echoex, Auditor

- You replace your sister's barbie doll arms with kitchen knives and then spend most of the morning rhyming off names with the hopes that one will animate her...(your office barbeque is coming soon and you need a date). "Julie...Lurleen...Qwaneesha..."

- Your wife has -- at some point -- uttered the words "well, you can call me Esmenet if that's what does it for you..."

- When you see a guy wearing a chain with a gold steer's horn pendant, you wink at him knowingly and whisper "ahh...a Man of the Tusk".

- You've named your 1987 Ford Tempo "Daybreak".

- You've used the word 'heathen' more than 5 times in one of your employee's performance reviews.

- You've used the word 'anathema' to describe a hang-over.

I'm tapped... view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 14 June 2005 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Kidruhil Lancer, Auditor

That's too funny...

Okay, how about this?

You started throwing rocks at a girl because she had a tattoo on her hand..

You wonder if being an evil face spy would be an even trade-off for unbelievable abilities with women.. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 08 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Warrior-Poet, Moderator

You blind yourself and attempt to use asps to see. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 09 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Nuuance E'vaance, Commoner

You used "spilled his black seed" as a metaphor at work and were escorted from the building. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 14 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by gierra, Sorcerer-of-Rank

<!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> some really good ones! i'll have to think on this a bit... view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 14 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Edge of Certainty, Subdidact

sadly enough, these aren't witty jokes:

You start trying to think and say two different things at the same time.
You get caught staring at someone whilst you try to &quot;read&quot; their face.
You begin to call your bathroom and/or bedroom Sumna, and yourself the Holy Shriah.
You repeatedly use the following phrases and metaphores: sweet Sejenus, death came swirling down, &quot;peaches,&quot; &quot;thumbs,&quot; and &quot;apples.&quot;
You prick your wife in the face with a needle while she sleeps, just in case.
The highlight of your day would be daydreaming about being bound to the nude corpse of Serwe on a ring hanging from a tree
...ok, that last one is more of a sign that you're either morbidly depressed or just plain morbid, but it's the reference that counts.

Just a warning: If we're not careful, these could easily become Jeff Foxworthy jokes....I'm just saying, let's not stoop so low. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 14 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Zarathinius, Auditor

You find yourself spending a lot of time analyzing what people say and recognizing patterns of real-world jnan, which is such a total fan-only type of realization that you can't talk to anybody about it without getting funny looks. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 15 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Kidruhil Lancer, Auditor

- You tried to comprehend the Thousand-fold thought, and they had you commited.

- You were going to give yourself a swazond, but chickened out at the last minute. ( or alternately, you actually went through with it and now you have to meet with a therapist.)

- You purchased &quot;Whelming For Dummies&quot; and ended up with 3rd degree burns.


---

Heh. That's it for my creativity. Maybe I'll think of more later. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 15 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Zarathinius, Auditor

Okay how about this:

- Secretly, you believe you have comprehended the Thousandfold Thought. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 16 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Kidruhil Lancer, Auditor

- You bought a scottish kilt and started sewing fake shrunken heads onto the bottom of it. ( If you have REAL shrunken heads, then you've got problems. ) view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 16 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Edge of Certainty, Subdidact

while you bake a batch of kellhus cookies, you try to educe ypurself into a probability trance, end up falling asleep, and waking to the fire alarm in your half-burnt kitchen. <!-- s:( --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" /><!-- s:( --> where did my life go wrong? view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 17 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Zarathinius, Auditor

How about this:

You try to seduce that hot, airheaded blonde you know by attempting to hold her abusive boyfriend by the throat over a ledge. This results in getting the snot beat out of you by the said boyfriend and his gang. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 17 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by zarathustra, Peralogue

You decide to war for space on the London Underground. view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 17 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Warrior-Poet, Moderator

You start preaching Inrithism and start a new world religion. Like Scientology. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 24 March 2006 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Mahajanga Mordecai, Auditor

While in a religion debate, you quote Prothathis:

&quot;All heaven can't shine through one crack.&quot;

And then have to remember to say that it's a quote from one of your favorite authors and not an ancient philosopher... like I almost did. <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarassed" /><!-- s:oops: --> view post


Top 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan posted 17 August 2008 in Off-Topic DiscussionTop 10 (or so) Ways You Kow You're an R. Scott Bakker Fan by Cnaiür, Peralogue

I've almost completed reading The Darkness That Comes Before and, so far, these are what I came up with:



- You're become a &quot;pompous ass&quot; and sign your name with an &quot;R.&quot; in front of it: R. John Smith, R. Jane Baker

- You name your daughter 'Esmenet'

- You experience the Mandate dream

- You pray your pregnant wife doesn't give birth to a blue baby

- You now look at crows more intently to find the one with the small head and blue eyes

- You render the hidden movers and shakers of Earth as 'The Consult'

- You attempt to live and be a Dûnyain monk; you surrender to the Logos, seeking absolute awareness, living the Shortest Way, committed to mission, reading thoughts and faces to dominate souls and circumstance. You become what comes before. Well, at least, you try.

- Despite your Christian faith you say &quot;Sweet Sejenus&quot;

- You look upon all non-Christians as heathen

- You refer to the Pope as Maithenet, and the Jesuit Supreme General as Sarcellus

- You're convinced all priests who molest little boys were raised in the House Gaunum, and Michael Jackson is the Patridomos himself

- You now call the North Star the &quot;Nail of Heaven&quot;

- You mark swazonds on your cock for every woman you lay

- Every time you're horny you look at your wife/gf as Esmenet, and mumble, &quot;Come to me my Esmi&quot;. After a long sweaty session of vibrant sex your wife/gf stuns you by saying, &quot;Ah, Callustrus, you're dreadfully gifted... what would I do without that thick cock of yours, hmmmm. Of all the morsels I get, you truly are the banquet.&quot;

- You look upon trouble-making terrorizing toddlers and pre-teens as Sranc, and give them grubs and insects on Halloween

- &quot;Pardon my Sheyic, but, f--- off!&quot;
- You point to your asshole friend and say, &quot;Coony, coony. That's Gilcûnya for 'you're a dirty, mold-infested douchbag'&quot;.

- You're convinced Scott's flushed cheeks are due to his wife's male Scylvendi complex.

- A beggar once asked you for money and you responded, &quot;I only have 3 copper talents, just enough for a couple pints of ale and a 1/2 pound of Sranc jerky. You should try your luck in Momemn. I've heard many from all across the Three Seas have gathered there in masses, something about an Inrithi calling. And you know those Inrithi, they're very kind and giving.&quot;

- In fear of not making next month's mortgage payments and insurance payments and bill payments, you begin to entertain the idea of selling one of your daughters off. Especially, now that they are of age. And you look upon little Caroline as your retirement deposit.

- You now refer to chess as Benjuka. If your opponent asks, or appears perplexed by that name, you reply, &quot;Oh, its the Aujic name for it, dating back over 5000 years. I've studied its masters and permutations since those historical times to the present&quot;. Without making your first move, you now have the upper hand.

- You quote Ajencis every chance you get. &quot;Faith is the truth of passion&quot;

- You etch PoN runes into a marble-sized ball-bearing and clutch it tightly every time your mother-in-law is present.

- You look upon all lonely grieving drunk men as Leweths

- You name your cock &quot;The Heron Spear&quot;





<!-- s:mrgreen: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":mrgreen:" title="Mr. Green" /><!-- s:mrgreen: --> view post


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