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My World (In Progress) posted 16 April 2004 in Member Written WorksMy World (In Progress) by LooseCannon, Peralogue

I think it is a decent opening to a novel. Might even be good as the first chapter following a prologue that has some action in it and fills in some of the backstory (i.e. the usual formula you see in fantasy books).

Two things that didn't seem to fit were the use of the word 'wetlanders' which seems sort of ripped off from a Wheel of Time book and the desert being described as stretching for miles and having never been crossed by these wetlanders. It doesn't sound daunting enough. Perhaps "hundreds of miles of barren desert" or something more descriptive like that.

But good stuff. I know how hard it is to put to paper what you create in your mind. That is why I don't do it <!-- s:P --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s:P --> view post


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