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dusted off in read-only


Critcism, please! posted 18 November 2008 in Member Written WorksCritcism, please! by srancchieftan, Candidate

Wow, very good prose and world building. You have a remarkable ability to pull the reader in and immerse them in the books world. Many books I read cant do this. I found myself intrigued with the plot, I found myself caring about what was happening. Your character devlopement was very good with the emperor, I was able to see inside his head and see his weaknesses and fears. Your world biulding is very good in that it comes out through the thoughts and dialogue of the characters and within the plot. The plot was very good as well. Your prose was amazing when I read good prose it flows like a song every word fitting together, very good. Also very good attention to detail.
I would like to have seen more character devlopement with the other characters, like you did with the emperor also more descriptions of characters appearances. Corect me if Im wrong but i dont recall you describing what the emperor looked like. I like when authors describe fights with blow by blow descriptions and brutality. For example: when an author describes how a man slashed at his oponent with a downward stroke the oponent blocked the fiented left and severdthe mans hand with a downstroke, something like that. When gore is described with brutal clarity it makes the story seem more real.
I will be watching the posts for more of your work I hope you continue this story, I want to know what happens in it. You are very talented. view post


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