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dusted off in read-only

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Connolly posted 25 December 2004 in Member Written WorksConnolly by Gable, Candidate

Hey there,
Sorry it took me so long to reply, but I've been home in Ontario visiting BOTH sets of parents so things have been hectic. And worse...they live deep in the wilderland between Kingston and Toronto so...no high-speed internet. A nightmare, truly.

ANYHOW! I really liked your work--thought it was great. Fantastic prose, nice job getting us inside characters' heads--especially Porthios.

If I have any criticism at all, it's only that the scenes seemed unduly short sometimes. It moved from character to character so fast it was like...hmm...like near the end of a book, when things are frantic and pace quickens and the actions jump beween characters more often. I think many things you presented could have been somehow made into longer, deeper scenes. See what I'm saying at all? It just went back and forth a lot with little fleshing out of each scene. Not really a terrible thing, but just unlike most stuff I've read, you know?

You were great at giving past information, names, etc, without sounding like you were explaining it too thoroughly. Hell, I didn't realize what the hell a 'Warren' really was until almost the end of Gardens of the Moon, haha. I like that--not holding the reader by the hand, you know?

Anyhow, I'd love to read more. It was very interesting, so when you get a chance--and I'm back in Van, I'll read more for sure.

Good news is, I finished my 'Prologue and six chapters'for christmas. Had to ignore the girlfriend until about 1am the night before I left, but hey, Sacrifice is a virtue. And in January I'll be joining the OWW, workshopping each chapter before sending them off.

Okay, I'm out. Have a good Christmas. view post


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